Disappointed

Well, apparently God has something else in mind. He made it very clear to me about a week ago that I need to stay put, at least for a little while. I had been waiting and praying for very clear direction. Instead of pursuing Vienna full force, I decided to take a step back, pray and see where God was leading. There was a month of silence, which was bewildering, but it also gave me time to think and pray things through carefully. Vienna is a big move, the timing doesn't seem quite right (I'd need to rent out my house and my house isn't ready) and although this job would have paid considerably more than my current job, the exchange rate is not in my favor. It left me wondering whether I could even afford a 1 bedroom apartment there! Plus the general risk of leaving a long-term job and jumping off into the unknown. It's a matter of being willing to take the risk, yet trusting that He knows what's best.

Last week I got the answer, loud and clear. On a Thurs my boss approached me about having a meeting with my former boss regarding changing my job. That Fri we met and I was direct about where I believe He's leading me. We decided that we would pursue the international thing more intentionally, changing my job to be 1/2 what I'm currently doing and 1/2 this new thing. Although I was (am) somewhat hesitant about hoping that we can affect change organizationally, I figured it couldn't hurt to change my job description so that we can attempt it. As soon as I went back to my office after the meeting, there was an email from the guy re: Vienna (after a month of complete silence). They have another candidate that they feel they should consider their best candidate.

If that's not clear direction, I don't know what is. The fact that these two things happened back to back - one immediately following the other. Amazing. And a huge answer to prayer. But that doesn't mean I'm not disappointed. It would be a lot easier for me to find a new job where things are already established. Now I'm in a position of having to create something that doesn't currently exist. And it doesn't help that there's a lack of understanding organizationally, which means it will be an uphill battle in trying to get people to understand and see our vision. I don't know that I'm up for the task.